Developing and maintaining positive relationships with students.
The
dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes
and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp
stick called "truth." ~Dan Rather
Based on my own experiences with students, both adults and children, I have found one of the most powerful things you can do is to get to know your students and show them you genuinely care about them. In addition to that, showing respect to the students and speaking to them as you would like them to speak to you is also very important. In most cases students will respond well to be treated well, they do not appreciate being spoken down to or yelled at.
A personal experience
I had one experience observing a student who just couldn't control his impulsiveness and was constantly calling out in class, never allowing others to get a word in, always dominating the class discussions and often chatting. He was always being sent out of class and did not seem to understand what he was doing wrong and thought he was being treated unfairly. When I had him in my lessons he did the same thing, so after a couple of warnings using the 'traffic light' system (discussed in Managing Inappropriate behaviour), I informed him he would have to stay back at lunchtime to discuss the problem with me. He was very upset and told me he thought I was picking on him. I took him aside and explained to him that I actually thought what he said in class was excellent and he was mostly correct, but the point was that it wasn't fair to the other students who put their hand up to speak as they were not being given a chance because of his calling out. I explained this in a calm and friendly manner to him. After this he made a fantastic effort to control himself and by the end of my time with that class he was telling other students to 'shhhh' whenever I taught a lesson. When I went back to visit the class he greeted me with a big hug! The point here is that I believe the approach I took made him feel valued for his contributions, and realise he needed to consider the other students in the class by applying some critical thinking skills. In addition to this I discussed critical thinking with the whole class, based on the 'Dimensions of Learning - Habits of Mind Framework' (Marzano and Pickering, 1997).
Practical ideas
to help develop positive relationships with students:
- learn and use students names often. At the beginning of the year, make an effort to use students' names as much as possible as this will help to learn them. Use students names to acknowledge participation and appropriate behaviour in class discussions, lining up to enter the classroom or any time you get the opportunity. Students respond well and will appreciate you noticing them. Rogers, regarding the importance of remembering names states (2006, p. 58) "this may sound like a mundane point, but it is crucial."
- focus on learning more about your students - Students will appreciate if you show interest in them, their hobbies, interests and comment on things they have done out of school hours. Use this knowledge to make connections between lessons and topic of interest to the class. When the students can relate what they are learning to something they enjoy they will be more engaged.
- Give students responsibility - each week ask different students things to do for you, such as collecting the photocopying, giving a message to the office or distributing or collecting things in class. The student will feel noticed and special, even older students like the attention, and make sure you give them feedback on how well they did the required tasks.
- See things from the student's perspective
When you see a student excited about something, sad or angry, try and imagine how they feel from their perspective. If you can empathise with the student, even if you don't agree with their behaviour, you will have more chance of developing a positive relationship. Think about your own experiences as a school student, most of us will have had times when we felt frustrated, angry, or upset or felt really fantastic about something. I really believe being able to relate to the students feelings makes a huge difference to the teacher-student relationship. As Bill Rogers states (2006, p. 130) "One of the most powerful and influential aspects of a teacher's relationship with individuals and groups of students is the teacher's willingness to empathise".
- Be aware of different cultural communication styles
When you have students from various cultural backgrounds, including Australian indigenous students, it is very important to learn about different customs in communicating, that may affect how the students respond to you. For example, as Karlsson describes, (2004, p. 13) "for many Indigenous people sustained eye contact is considered rude and even disrespectful. This may particularly be the case if you are talking to someone of the opposite gender". In addition, in some areas (p. 14) "for many Indigenous people, kinship systems not only imply who is related to whom but also how they must act towards each other in particular circumstances." Some students may avoid sitting near each other for these reasons, or be unable to participate in group work together. Based on personal experiences working with indigenous people for ten years, and through participation in cross cultural communication courses, I would emphasise that if you are going to be working with indigenous students in particular, learning about their culture and communication styles is essential.
Based on my own experiences with students, both adults and children, I have found one of the most powerful things you can do is to get to know your students and show them you genuinely care about them. In addition to that, showing respect to the students and speaking to them as you would like them to speak to you is also very important. In most cases students will respond well to be treated well, they do not appreciate being spoken down to or yelled at.
A personal experience
I had one experience observing a student who just couldn't control his impulsiveness and was constantly calling out in class, never allowing others to get a word in, always dominating the class discussions and often chatting. He was always being sent out of class and did not seem to understand what he was doing wrong and thought he was being treated unfairly. When I had him in my lessons he did the same thing, so after a couple of warnings using the 'traffic light' system (discussed in Managing Inappropriate behaviour), I informed him he would have to stay back at lunchtime to discuss the problem with me. He was very upset and told me he thought I was picking on him. I took him aside and explained to him that I actually thought what he said in class was excellent and he was mostly correct, but the point was that it wasn't fair to the other students who put their hand up to speak as they were not being given a chance because of his calling out. I explained this in a calm and friendly manner to him. After this he made a fantastic effort to control himself and by the end of my time with that class he was telling other students to 'shhhh' whenever I taught a lesson. When I went back to visit the class he greeted me with a big hug! The point here is that I believe the approach I took made him feel valued for his contributions, and realise he needed to consider the other students in the class by applying some critical thinking skills. In addition to this I discussed critical thinking with the whole class, based on the 'Dimensions of Learning - Habits of Mind Framework' (Marzano and Pickering, 1997).
Practical ideas
to help develop positive relationships with students:
- learn and use students names often. At the beginning of the year, make an effort to use students' names as much as possible as this will help to learn them. Use students names to acknowledge participation and appropriate behaviour in class discussions, lining up to enter the classroom or any time you get the opportunity. Students respond well and will appreciate you noticing them. Rogers, regarding the importance of remembering names states (2006, p. 58) "this may sound like a mundane point, but it is crucial."
- focus on learning more about your students - Students will appreciate if you show interest in them, their hobbies, interests and comment on things they have done out of school hours. Use this knowledge to make connections between lessons and topic of interest to the class. When the students can relate what they are learning to something they enjoy they will be more engaged.
- Give students responsibility - each week ask different students things to do for you, such as collecting the photocopying, giving a message to the office or distributing or collecting things in class. The student will feel noticed and special, even older students like the attention, and make sure you give them feedback on how well they did the required tasks.
- See things from the student's perspective
When you see a student excited about something, sad or angry, try and imagine how they feel from their perspective. If you can empathise with the student, even if you don't agree with their behaviour, you will have more chance of developing a positive relationship. Think about your own experiences as a school student, most of us will have had times when we felt frustrated, angry, or upset or felt really fantastic about something. I really believe being able to relate to the students feelings makes a huge difference to the teacher-student relationship. As Bill Rogers states (2006, p. 130) "One of the most powerful and influential aspects of a teacher's relationship with individuals and groups of students is the teacher's willingness to empathise".
- Be aware of different cultural communication styles
When you have students from various cultural backgrounds, including Australian indigenous students, it is very important to learn about different customs in communicating, that may affect how the students respond to you. For example, as Karlsson describes, (2004, p. 13) "for many Indigenous people sustained eye contact is considered rude and even disrespectful. This may particularly be the case if you are talking to someone of the opposite gender". In addition, in some areas (p. 14) "for many Indigenous people, kinship systems not only imply who is related to whom but also how they must act towards each other in particular circumstances." Some students may avoid sitting near each other for these reasons, or be unable to participate in group work together. Based on personal experiences working with indigenous people for ten years, and through participation in cross cultural communication courses, I would emphasise that if you are going to be working with indigenous students in particular, learning about their culture and communication styles is essential.